Friday 24 May 2013

Try Our Free Horror-Scope Test by Paul Cook

Your industry star sign…
 
The English language is an ever moving feast; goes the slightly capricious metaphor.  Each and every year since William the Conqueror gained his apposite tag, this Latin based lingual potion has upgraded itself.  Of course, I’m not sure he (William) leapt up onto the beach intending the resultant language we see now; he was almost certainly distracted by another job in hand; that of crushing, trouncing, whitewashing, vanquishing and overwhelming poor old Harold; which of course he did (I think the arrow in the eye was a bit un-British).  So, pretty much at a rolling pace from 1066 to 2013 we have added words to our French; as William rallied his troops he may have bellowed ‘Nous nous battrons sur les plages’ and in less than a thousand years Churchill’s version was ‘we will fight them on the beaches’.  Less than 100 years after that, our rendering now could be ‘We’s big up sik like innit if you dis us you gonna get shiv’d lol ’   Enough to scare any invading army!
 
As an executive coach and contributor to business acumen I think therefore I must contribute; my word is horror-scope: Oxford concise dictionary 2013 n1 The prediction of a business’s future based on positions of planets, sun and moon at the time of its launch. 2. A diagram showing positions of the planets, sun, and moon at a particular political time and place.
 
Examples

Hairies Launched in the time of the boom and boom era - you still think this will come back one day and keep those high level risk strategies.  Your companies’ Ford Capris are still in the HQ garage waiting for that triumphant day.


Borus  Launched just after the cold war - what the boss says the boss gets and the company does.  Borus companies will not budge, resist change and charge forward despite, and in spite of the consequences.
 
HimandI  (Him and I)  A partnership started and continued through highs and lows without knowing what each other really are all about.  Some HimandI companies even take on completely different personas just in case they have to be honest with each other.
 

Scarios  Business plans and leadership based on true fear; fear of each other, the world, the competition and the talent around.  Don’t mess with a Scario they are known for their lack of remorse.
 
This is the interactive bit so keep reading.
I will cast down a quest to ye business varlets (into the mid-14th century now).  Label a ‘horror-scope’ in the above style, with reasons, to your business, post it back to us at Zest and the most inventive will receive a free 3 hour coaching session either for yourself, or anyone in your company.  Not only that, we will, if you agree, share it with all our clients.  Free advertising, free marketing and free advice.  Just image what King Harold could have done with that!

Pre 1066 briefing
King Harold ‘What do you reckon oracle?’
Oracle ‘I see a man with a crossbow’
Harold ‘Yes and….’